Why are atheist...atheist?

[zip_ster]

I would not choose to be atheist. I know almost nothing about atheists, and I do not know any atheists personally. My family, and everyone I know are theists, and most of them are and always have been Pentecostal. If I could choose, I would take the obvious route, drink my coolaid, and get over the doubts I have. It just isn't that simple. We are taught to die to self, which I think means overcome the inevitable incredulity at the nonsense we are told and obey our superiors. Ain't gonna happen. I can't stop rolling my eyes.