Porn, porn and more porn!

[Catholic_Lady]

Having sex with your wife rather than masturbating to porn doesn't seem like that much to ask. I'd feel pretty shitty if he'd rather do that than have sex with me.

CL, are you telling me that you have never had a sexual fantasy about a man who wasn’t your husband?  Ever?!

My ex boyfriends before I met my husband, but that's it lol. I Have to actually really really like someone before wanting to have sex with them.

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But he would still prefer that to having sex with me (or just looking at my naked pics) at that moment.

Also, theres the betrayal part of it for me because sex is an "us" thing. We were both V's when we married and so it's something we've only experienced with each other. It feels exclusive to us and our relationship, and I like that. It's our special thing, if you will, and introducing another person into the mix (even if she's just on the TV screen) wouldn't sit right with me one bit.

I would also be hurt if I knew he was day dreaming about having sex with other women. Now before anyone says anything, let me say theres a difference between A. seeing an attractive person and thinking they are hot (and even having an involuntary moment of arousal) but going on about your day..., and B. taking the time to voluntarily day dream and fantasize about having sex with them.

I would feel upset about the latter.

Huh.  That would be an immense amount of pressure to try and not only be the only person sexually for another physically, which I think is reasonable enough, but to be the only person in the fantasy sense as well is tough.  Is there a lesbian loophole?  Sneak Megan Fox into the fantasy, if he's imagining you and Megan, rather than him and Megan, does that lessen the blow?

Do you know that there's often a complete disconnect between the fantasy and reality?  That guys can fantasize about something for arousal/enjoyment purposes that they have no interest in in reality?  Using the lesbian example, despite my wife having had several romantic encounters with other ladyfolk in my imagination, I don't have any actual interest in her being a lesbian.

Again, im not talking about passing thoughts that are involuntary. I'm talking about actively visualizing a fantasy of having sex with someone who isn't your spouse.

I don't see this is being a difficult thing to abstain from doing, but I guess that's just because I have a completely different view of sex. I have no desire to do it with someone I don't care about, so there's no urge for me personally to fantasize about it. To me, sex is very much tied into love. I cant seperate the two even if I tried.

Honestly the thought of my husband fantasizing a 3some is probably even worse, even if I was involved. It just doesnt seem at all appropriate.