Porn, porn and more porn!

[brewer]

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Salutations sodomites, 

So there I was, crushing the queep at work today, when CL sends me a text about this thread and thought it would be cool if I could offer my input. Oh brother. Well, I don't really know what to say other than, yes, I do agree with what my wife has been saying. I'm not saying it's easy or necessary, though I do think it's a noble ideal worth striving for, for a number of reasons: 

1. It hurts CL. If there's anything in my life that can do harm to my wife, I do everything I can to prevent it. I love CL more than anything and take my commitment to her very seriously, including taking care of all her needs. In the grand scheme of things, should porn really be that difficult to go without? I mean, the human race somehow managed to make do before Gutenburg showed up, right? (Standing by for some history nerd to correct me). 

2. It manipulates my brain. Literally. Offhand, and with CL waiting for me in the other room (mostly the latter), I don't have any references to share, but I'm sure you can find them if you please. Long story short, it can create an addiction to orgasms (more specifically, that one chemical in the brain associated with pleasure). Like a drug addiction, it can alter how the brain functions and create a dependency. Of course, having lots of sex with CL can do the same thing, but I'd argue a sex addiction to my wife is loads (see what I did there?) better than a sex addiction to my hand. 

3. It alters society's view and behavior toward women. Rape culture? How about we just elected a president who was recorded saying he can grab women by the pussy because he's famous? Better yet, how about the classic - she was asking for it; look how she was dressed! I'm sure we all can agree - a woman's apparel (or lack thereof) says nothing about whether she wants to have sex with the first dude to say hello, and yet, a woman's apparel has a direct impact on how she gets treated. Naturally, a certain amount of that is due to men being wired the way we are. But I think more and more commonly men (and adolescent boys) are un-learning how to associate with women outside of a sexual relationship. Am I the only guy here who can count on one hand the number of girls I was friends with in high school that I didn't first try to pursue as more than a friend? Yes, yes, a large portion of this is nature over nurture, but I have a hard time believing porn doesn't play a part too. 

3b. It alters women's view of themselves. Knowing full well that their men are regularly consuming (consumed by?) porn, women have to up the sex appeal everywhere and up the ante in the bedroom just to keep their man's attention. On the surface, this might not seem so bad. I mean, both parties win: men get more eye-candy and bedroom fun, and their women get more attention more often (oh, and more bedroom fun). Both of these are things men and women crave on an instinctual level. Scratch beneath the surface though, and what we really have are men (or should I say boys?) betraying their women on a deep emotional level - a person's need to be loved and desired for who she is.

4. It drives a wedge in the future of the relationship. Sure, many women are able to compete with porn stars for their man's attention while they're young, but what about when they turn 40? 50? 60? I admit I'm not an expert on Hugh Hefner, but I don't think I've ever seen a picture of him with a woman beyond her mid 30s (and that's a generous assumption) even into his 70s and beyond. Ok fine, he's an outlier, but how many men today would honestly pass up the opportunity to live his life if they could? Do older men look at porn of older women? I doubt it. If couples allow themselves to accept porn as normal/healthy/whatever, I think it sets them up for a future that's complicated at best. Sure, older women want their man to have satisfaction, and might not mind how he finds it (within the confines of the relationship), but surely the relationship would be a lot stronger if the couple was able to form their sexual desires around their attraction to each other. 

5. It has created an industry that preys on naive young women. There are numerous porn-related documentaries on netflix addressing this very issue. It's sickening, really. And as a military man with a bit of a hero complex, it makes my blood boil. 

I have one life to live, and I want it to live it the very best that I can, in every way. I want my life to have meaning, and I want others' lives to have meaning to me. I want to know people and be known on a level that's more than skin-deep. I want to give myself to CL completely, as she gives herself to me, and I want us to grow old together knowing that at the end of it all, for better or worse, we gave each other our all, and our simple all was more than enough.     

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I appreciate your views and opinions.

1 and 2 are definitely your personal ones. You'll understand when I state that they do not apply to me and my wife.

3 and 3a. The same can be said for main stream advertising, movies, books and TV. I seem to have the ability to draw the line between the fantasy of porn and reality. I think most of the adult world can also. 

4. No wedge here. Your personal view again. 

5. Adults can pick and choose what they want to do within the law. There are all kinds of poor choices that adults can make. I've made a couple myself. 

Your last paragraph: Are you stating that you get to determine how my life should have meaning for me? Would you like to be told what you must do for meaning? (wait, you already have someone/thing doing that)