RE: Deidre's Ramblings
May 18, 2018 at 7:21 pm
(This post was last modified: May 18, 2018 at 7:23 pm by *Deidre*.)
Friday, May 18
I have a good friend who has been in my life for about ten years. We went out for dinner recently, and had a chat about all kinds of things. She's an atheist, as most of my friends are. I know she's a true friend when she didn't take offense to me turning back to a spiritual life.
We got to talking about one of her friends from work who is gay and getting married. My friend, who I thought I knew so well, expressed her disdain for the gay lifestyle...saying ''it's not normal'' and ''who is he fooling by getting married?'' I said, ''who is he fooling, what?'' And she proceeded to explain that she feels that gay people are trying to mimic heterosexuals in marriage, and living lives ''like we do,'' is how she put it. I replied by asking her why it even bothers her, if someone who's gay at her work wants to get married. It shouldn't. If two consenting adults want to have sex, it's their business. I felt this way when I was a religious Christian, I felt this way as an atheist, and I feel this way now, returning to my belief in God.
She listened to me, and I think that part of the problem for her is that she came from a bigoted, religious household, growing up. Her parents are racist and apparently homo-phobic (I don't like that term, but it fits here, I guess) and unfortunately, no matter how hard we try to shed the demons from our childhood, they come back to haunt us, sometimes. In the most unexpected ways. My friend is a good person, she truly is. I don't want her to be a bigot. I don't even feel right calling her that, and maybe it's not my place to call anyone that. If you don't like something, it's your right. You're entitled to your own opinion.
But, my friend has bigoted ideas.
And she would be wise to stay open minded to what she is currently ignorant over, and not allow herself to judge or misjudge a group of people who simply, in my eyes, are trying to find love like the rest of us. Bigotry comes from a place of ignorance, and fear. This has always been my opinion.
On a secular level, heterosexuals are getting divorced left and right, it's not like we can say to gay people ''hey, we've got this down, so let us tell you what to do,'' because we don't know what we're doing, either. And ironically, Christian evangelicals have the highest divorce rates. Irony is a funny thing, especially when the lowest divorce rates come from atheists. Actually, a recent study I've read also suggests that a lot of successful marriages come from atheists marrying religious people. Don't shoot the messenger, yo.
But, interestingly, bigoted ideas can come from religious people, and non-religious types, just the same. It's an attitude, and perhaps a learned one. If we can learn something though, we can unlearn it.
I have a good friend who has been in my life for about ten years. We went out for dinner recently, and had a chat about all kinds of things. She's an atheist, as most of my friends are. I know she's a true friend when she didn't take offense to me turning back to a spiritual life.
We got to talking about one of her friends from work who is gay and getting married. My friend, who I thought I knew so well, expressed her disdain for the gay lifestyle...saying ''it's not normal'' and ''who is he fooling by getting married?'' I said, ''who is he fooling, what?'' And she proceeded to explain that she feels that gay people are trying to mimic heterosexuals in marriage, and living lives ''like we do,'' is how she put it. I replied by asking her why it even bothers her, if someone who's gay at her work wants to get married. It shouldn't. If two consenting adults want to have sex, it's their business. I felt this way when I was a religious Christian, I felt this way as an atheist, and I feel this way now, returning to my belief in God.
She listened to me, and I think that part of the problem for her is that she came from a bigoted, religious household, growing up. Her parents are racist and apparently homo-phobic (I don't like that term, but it fits here, I guess) and unfortunately, no matter how hard we try to shed the demons from our childhood, they come back to haunt us, sometimes. In the most unexpected ways. My friend is a good person, she truly is. I don't want her to be a bigot. I don't even feel right calling her that, and maybe it's not my place to call anyone that. If you don't like something, it's your right. You're entitled to your own opinion.
But, my friend has bigoted ideas.
And she would be wise to stay open minded to what she is currently ignorant over, and not allow herself to judge or misjudge a group of people who simply, in my eyes, are trying to find love like the rest of us. Bigotry comes from a place of ignorance, and fear. This has always been my opinion.
On a secular level, heterosexuals are getting divorced left and right, it's not like we can say to gay people ''hey, we've got this down, so let us tell you what to do,'' because we don't know what we're doing, either. And ironically, Christian evangelicals have the highest divorce rates. Irony is a funny thing, especially when the lowest divorce rates come from atheists. Actually, a recent study I've read also suggests that a lot of successful marriages come from atheists marrying religious people. Don't shoot the messenger, yo.
But, interestingly, bigoted ideas can come from religious people, and non-religious types, just the same. It's an attitude, and perhaps a learned one. If we can learn something though, we can unlearn it.
