Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[The Industrial Atheist]

There's nothing more depressing for me than trying to obtain a relationship through online dating sites.

There's nothing more humiliating than having to fill in "I prefer not to say" next to: Do you have a car?
or having to try to use a clever quip instead of just leaving the employment line blank.

When I tried this before it was like every week I got no response I felt like an even bigger fool, and month by month....I can only take so much of that before I call it quits.

But I have nothing in my life where I'm around women my age in a natural situation either. Even if I did, it would eventually become the same kind of shit, it would just take longer.

It may not be my fault I suck ass. But that doesn't really matter at all. Sometimes, that's what really hurts. I can't say, hey I still experience psychosis probably %30 of the time, and active psychosis is more disabling than quadriplegia. It'd be more likely they'd run screaming.

I can't say, even considering I could work like that, I have degenerative disc disease, and frequent kidney stones and sinus infections. I want to try to work but what happens if things get as bad as they sometimes get already? To the point I'm so sick I barely feel well enough to carry on intelligent conversation let alone do a job. Even a non physical one.

None of that would help my case even one bit.

Fuck my life.

Fuck my life.

When it comes right down to it what the hell is natural? 

Got any support groups in the area to hang with? "How you doin" might go along way there.

I do go to a support group. I have one friend, I suppose my only RL friend, but no women in it within ten years of my age.