Ask a Brazilian skeptic

[DiogenesLantern]

When are you guys going to do something about that big fucking cross in Rio?

Cross?

What are the best things about where you live?  What are the worst things about where you live?

It is the largest city in South America and very diverse in all senses, so on the plus side you can find basically anything you look for in the city: all kinds of cultural events and entertainment options, large parks, services provided in a quality higher than what you can get in the rest of the country, etc. Trains and buses get very crowded and uncomfortable during peak hours, but the transit system is still mostly reliable and can get you anywhere. It is also nice that you're always within a walking distance from a grocery store, a drugstore and other similar shops, no matter what kind of neighborhood you're in.

Crime is the worst thing in Brazil. Instead of having a list of "bad areas to avoid" in a city, we'd give you instead a small list of "areas you might actually visit and feel kind of safe". Things here aren't as bad as in Rio de Janeiro and less developed states, but in São Paulo you still have to be aware of your surroundings all the time. Most of the city looks depressing because of all the runelike graffiti tags everywhere. People don't care enough to waste money on making their homes and façades look nice because they know that vandals will come back with their spray cans again, and also not to attract the attention of burglars.

Welcome.

How many is a brazilian?  Is it more than a trillion?

Incidentally, the Portuguese word for Brazilian (brasileiro) is the unique nationality that ends with -eiro. That's because it's a suffix used in job titles, and brasileiros were originally Portuguese men who came here to work in the brazilwood industry (that's where the name of the country comes from).

I don't know shit about it. I know some stuff about Rio, mostly what I've seen in films

If you want to watch some movies that aren't set in Rio de Janeiro, look up São Paulo, Sociedade Anônima, The Man Who Copied and The Year My Parents Went on Vacation.  For one set in Rio that isn't about their favelas, see Wolf at the Door.

I know Brasilia is a huge modern art eyesore

Yeah, the guy who designed Brasília is considered a genius, but it was stupidly planned just for cars. The Latin America Memorial in my city was also designed by him and looks like a big empty parking lot.

I know some stuff about the rainforest, but bugger all about Sao Paolo.

The Amazon up in the North is indeed the largest natural area, but there's actually another rainforest (the Atlantic Forest) that originally covered São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro (both in the Southeast). Some parks in both cities still keep original Atlantic Forest areas, and when we go down to the coast from São Paulo city we drive through its lush mountains:






We also have regions similar to Australian and Mexican deserts (caatinga), African savannas (cerrado) and even a few places where it snows (in a region colonized mostly by Italians and Germans), so it's a shame that even Brazilian tourism companies portray Brazil as some sort of island with only Rio de Janeiro city, tanned samba dancers and "the rainforest".

What's your keepie uppie record.

Maybe 2 or 3 in a row.

Hello.

What are dio genes?

Diogenes.

How do you feel about Portugal?

My grandparents on my dad's side came from there, so I have a special connection to it.  It's a shame but most Brazilians don't know anything about it besides old stereotypes. They may even have a hard time understanding accents from other countries where Portuguese is spoken as an official language, since our media only broadcasts national and American stuff. On the other hand, Portuguese people and Lusophone Africans (Angolans, Cape Verdeans etc.) are exposed to Brazilian media and know more about it in general.

I'm Brazilian too! (From Rio)

Moved to the United States when I was 7 years old.

Just like Morena Baccarin. Can you speak Portuguese as well as she does?

I always thought a Brazilian was about as much as however much a pubic muff trim costs.

Brazilians may get upset when they learn you call that "a Brazilian", but at the same time they'll call inferior/counterfeit products "Paraguayan".