The Newly Departed thread: announcements (departures)

[Catholic_Lady]

I’m more concerned with how saying people who are sick can’t help themselves makes us all look like uncontrollable heathens. It’s not cool. Stigma needs to chill.

My concern is simply that Aspergers often involves, and certainly does in Hammy's case, perceiving the world differently; in a black and white, literal way... a world of strict rules and definitions... rather than the grey areas inbetween that everyone else takes for granted. In other words, insensitivity to context. And that's not going to change with any amount of therapy (I think); that's just the way some people are wired. So since that will and does inevitably lead to a lot of misunderstandings with people who do see grey areas, all I'm saying is I understand why he gets frustrated and angry.

How he then deals with that frustration and anger is a separate issue... something that can be changed... with anger management, mindfulness etc... and that's on him and his responsibility. But I'm just saying I understand the underlying reasons for that anger, and they've probably been an issue all his life.

In my opinion, what happened with you... basically a rage quit... was just the straw that broke the camel's back... with anger and frustration... and maybe also paranoia... building up from the incident with kimbyrle... or even before. And the thing about straws that break camel's backs is that they tend to come from very little things or misunderstandings, as seems to have happened in this case.

I know some people think I'm enabling him but I don't see it like that. I just understand that frustration he feels and couldn't undo that understanding even if I wanted to. I just want to help him deal better with that frustration and adapt better to the grey areas of life, and from my own perspective that is not a lost cause.

Excellent post. I will always call out Harm's bad behavior, just as I did recently with what he said to Neo and Shell. But I won't write him off or stop being friends with him, because I try to be understanding of his condition and know that he is a good guy.