Your landmark events.

[Rev. Rye]

Discovering the girl of my dreams, and then finding out she’s gay. 

I had a girlfriend like that.  Quite the ladies lady too I found out.  So passionate and sexual.  Alas I had the wrong junk and wasn't willing to change it in on her preferred kind either.

It's a shame that the one true barefoot girl I've met (even in classes, mind you, although she did sometimes wear sneakers outside and take them off inside) turned out to be so fundamentally incompatible.