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Feedback appreciated
#1
Feedback appreciated
Hey everyone,

Could use some input on this one!
Making it for a friend who's putting together an indie game centered in WWII.


Entrenched

The soil soaks with the blood of brothers
though the iron is not bound to the ground:
It is flung forth from us to the others
in a monstrous nightmare we try to mount
and ride towards the glow of the rising sun.
Arm the cannons and rip the skies asunder,
the struggle for a horse has only just begun:
Kill the man you were and let it thunder.
Worry only how to live with yourself
after you make sure that you'll live.
Forget the One and his band of twelve
and the forgiveness that He might give.
Nothing is sacred in love nor in war.
Arm the cannons and rip your soul asunder,
the high horse of dawn grazes too far.
Kill the man you'd be and let it thunder.
"If we go down, we go down together!"
- Your mum, last night, suggesting 69.
[Image: 41bebac06973488da2b0740b6ac37538.jpg]-
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Messages In This Thread
Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 19, 2018 at 9:22 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Brian37 - November 19, 2018 at 9:27 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 19, 2018 at 9:53 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 19, 2018 at 11:14 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 19, 2018 at 11:27 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Brian37 - November 19, 2018 at 11:21 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 19, 2018 at 12:12 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 19, 2018 at 12:52 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by MysticKnight - November 19, 2018 at 12:38 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Brian37 - November 19, 2018 at 1:02 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by MysticKnight - November 19, 2018 at 1:04 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 19, 2018 at 1:04 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by MysticKnight - November 19, 2018 at 1:06 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 19, 2018 at 1:18 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 20, 2018 at 8:06 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 20, 2018 at 8:36 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 21, 2018 at 2:31 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 21, 2018 at 4:53 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 21, 2018 at 7:22 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by bennyboy - November 21, 2018 at 10:14 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 22, 2018 at 1:51 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by J a c k - November 22, 2018 at 1:55 am

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