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Atheist Forums › Discussion › The Arts v
Feedback appreciated

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Feedback appreciated
Mr.Obvious Offline
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Religious Views: Atheist Mantis does not pray.
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#21
RE: Feedback appreciated
November 22, 2018 at 1:51 am
(November 21, 2018 at 10:14 pm)bennyboy Wrote: I'm going to be harsh.

You've managed to put down some interesting ideas, and to rhyme.

But I can't get the meter to work out no matter how I emphasize the words. It seems a bit amateurish to me tbh.

No prob. When i ask for input, i don't ask for a bunch of yes-men. Tackattack pointed out The same problem, an i tried again baSed on that, above. Does that improve The flow and meter? Or do you experience this hassle (too) in The revamped version?
"If we go down, we go down together!"
- Your mum, last night, suggesting 69.
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › The Arts v
Feedback appreciated

Messages In This Thread
Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 19, 2018 at 9:22 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Brian37 - November 19, 2018 at 9:27 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 19, 2018 at 9:53 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 19, 2018 at 11:14 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 19, 2018 at 11:27 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Brian37 - November 19, 2018 at 11:21 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 19, 2018 at 12:12 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 19, 2018 at 12:52 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by MysticKnight - November 19, 2018 at 12:38 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Brian37 - November 19, 2018 at 1:02 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by MysticKnight - November 19, 2018 at 1:04 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 19, 2018 at 1:04 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by MysticKnight - November 19, 2018 at 1:06 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 19, 2018 at 1:18 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 20, 2018 at 8:06 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 20, 2018 at 8:36 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 21, 2018 at 2:31 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 21, 2018 at 4:53 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by tackattack - November 21, 2018 at 7:22 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by bennyboy - November 21, 2018 at 10:14 pm
RE: Feedback appreciated - by Mr.Obvious - November 22, 2018 at 1:51 am
RE: Feedback appreciated - by J a c k - November 22, 2018 at 1:55 am

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