(January 13, 2019 at 2:49 pm)Der/die AtheistIn Wrote: When I tell my dad I thought I failed a certain exam, he exploded. He told me that I'm not serious, I don't try enough. He told me that he and my mom make efforts so I can study. He had a long speech.
Why doesn't he realize he makes things worse? The time I use to listen to his speech is time I could use for learning. Not to mention it also takes time for me to calm down after said speech.
Why does he tell me I don't try enough? I really try my best, I really do. There is a lot of work and I'm struggling to keep up with it. I also do have some emotional problems, which I didn't tell him or mom, but still. I have a lot of mood swings and when I'm feeling down It's hard for me to concentrate while learning. I figured out it would be best to take some time to calm down and then continue learning, but even then I lose some time. What should I do if I get mood swings during an exam? It never happened before. I have a therapy appointment, but it's only after the end of the semester and I still have 4 exams to go.
He also told me that one day he might get really pissed and make me change universities. And that if I don't learn might as well get a job. I don't know if he really means it, or just trying to scare me.
If I try to talk to him he won't listen.
My problem growing up wasn't so much my mom, but the teachers I had. Some of them I did well under because they didn't have a authoritarian view, others did. It can be hard on a kid when you really are trying but suffer from performance anxiety. The truth is every kid learns differently, and some kids pick some things up quicker than others.
Even in college, I had a hard time with math and science, and even a foreign language, but literature was far easier for me. And to be honest, I didn't graduate with all A's and Bs.
Lighten your schedule may help, talking to advisers and having study groups with friends can help. And it doesn't hurt to realize that something you thought you liked wasn't what you thought it would be.
But regardless of what your dad says, you have to be mentally healthy regardless, you have to be happy with yourself. An education is important, even if you never use it after you graduate. I only spent about 4 years in radio after I graduated, pay sucked. But even given that, I am still far more aware of the world and wouldn't trade it for anything.
Most parents simply want their kid to do well and not have to struggle, but like most parents, and society in general, many do not understand that kids are not clones of their parents, and kids are individuals and learn things differently and adapt to different things and don't adapt to the same things.
It is one of those things again, that no matter what, you have to still accept yourself and be yourself. I am not telling you to drop out by any means. I am saying if you need help, try to find help from the staff at school, and certainly find some therapy on campus to discuss ways to reduce your stress.
