(January 14, 2019 at 11:53 am)Der/die AtheistIn Wrote:(January 14, 2019 at 12:33 am)Aoi Magi Wrote: DA, from what you said I feel there is a bit of a communication gap between you and your parents, you seem to keep wondering why your parents don't seem to understand that you are trying your best, well from what you said, it is because you are not telling them that. Parents are not psychics and won't know your thoughts or problems if you keep hiding them! Yes they might, or rather let's say they will overreact, and you might get a few more very long speeches, but it's better to hear those from your own parents, rather than outsiders! Moreover, once you do let your parents know, they will do their best to get you the help you need, and the earlier you get help the better off you'll be in your life. So you must gather the courage to let your parents know and if you are really afraid to do so alone, get help from a sibling/cousin/friend, or even a letter might work, but you've got to let your parents know!
I told him numerous times that I try my best, this doesn't calm him down at all
As much as I love my late mother, she and my dad were both authoritarian types. Looking back, their intent was to prepare me for life, but many parents do not understand that kids are not clones of them.
Trust me, the only real thing you have in life is your own happiness. No matter his intent, you ultimately know you, and you cannot live your life for him, even if you want to please him.
Don't get me wrong, I still say a college education is worth it, no matter what kind of job you end up with.
But you still are not a clone of him. You have to ultimately find out what you want for your own life, and you have to be happy with yourself.
It took my late mother long into my adulthood to finally accept me for me, and not something to be molded into her image. Better late than never.
My only suggestions I made before. Try to find what you like, and classes you are not as good at, try to find help from other students or tutors. Lighten your class load too. Some students can handle heavy class schedules, but I took 4 classes per semester at most, sometimes only 3. And a few I audited too because I knew I wasn't going to pass.
I can say the biggest problem with learning anything is if you have performance anxiety, which I did, and stress does not help either. Even outside of college, on quite a few jobs, I hated getting thrown in the deep end suddenly. I found I did better in class, and at work, when those trying to teach me something allowed me to do one thing at a time, and allowed me to take my time, and didn't look down on me when I asked questions.
The other thing I can say too, after college, when I wasn't under pressure to learn, I found I absorbed a lot more.
I can read people like Dawkins and Hitchens and Harris now without fear. But I can tell you, if I went to a major state college that offered a history class on atheists, and that professor was like any other teacher I hated, I would have failed.
But because I was able to take my time, and had help from on line friends and skype conversations, things I was allowed to bounce off others without stress, allowed me to understand things that classroom stress would have blocked me from understanding.
It is ok to not understand something, but it is also important to learn how you personally learn best. Think of things you do know, and think of the way the person who taught them to you taught you.
I think you are bright enough to do that, I see that you read and understand many posts here, and many posts that many theists don't get.
But still, you cannot control your Dad regardless. But don't put yourself down either. You are you, not him.
