What is forgiveness and what is not?

[Brian37]

Forgiveness is a very personal and individual thing.

It is possible in one case to forgive and continue to be around that person.

BUT it is also possible to forgive, AND not want to be around another person.

It isn't an either or proposition, but case by case, based on cost benefit.

My late adoptive mother whom I loved, drove me nuts sometimes. But ultimately she always had my back, so our differences never got to the point of giving up on each other.

But, on the other hand, I cut off my biological brother, whom I was not raised with, but met as an adult. Having been bullied as a kid prior to meeting him, the one thing you don't do with me, which he did, was threaten me with violence. I hold no ill will to him, but there are some things that one should not tolerate least they become a doormat.

So it is only for you, "it depends" on what you are willing to live with, or not live with. But in neither case, stay or go, you don't  have to hold a grudge.

Could you please give me a more exact definition of forgiveness? Do you think that you forgave your brother?

Not sure what you are looking for.

I have had times where people have pissed me off, hurt me, but it wasn't so bad that I feared being around them. Then I have had times where people hurt me or threatened me that I had enough. 

I want no contact with him. But I also don't wish him ill. It was more than one event that caused me to cut ties with him.