What is forgiveness and what is not?

[Der/die AtheistIn]

Not sure what you are looking for.

I have had times where people have pissed me off, hurt me, but it wasn't so bad that I feared being around them. Then I have had times where people hurt me or threatened me that I had enough. 

I want no contact with him. But I also don't wish him ill. It was more than one event that caused me to cut ties with him.

My case is different. Sometimes, I have ill thoughts towards some who hurt me in the past, but it's an instinct thing, I use my mind to decide what I should do or not. I also do feel sometimes bad around people who had hurt me. I also believe that true forgiveness comes naturally. Maybe people convince themselves to forgive, but it needs time (depending on what happened). To be clear, I wasn't referring to your situation. It could be that our experiences are different.