RE: What is forgiveness and what is not?
February 25, 2019 at 1:29 pm
(This post was last modified: February 25, 2019 at 1:29 pm by 900ft j.)
(February 7, 2019 at 5:59 pm)tackattack Wrote: "Offering forgiveness is a process that usually involves, seeing something broken, dealing with the emotions of that brokenness, understanding how it happened to grow beyond and then justly reconciling that. "
I think this is how it works with me. When I'm asked about a specific person or wrong and whether I can forgive, I get stumped at that word because I never feel forgiveness has anything to do with it. IT,s more like you say, working through it, deciding if the situation is ongoing, deciding that if it is something - whether past or not - that should be tolerated. As an example, my ex was abusive to my kids and I. Forgiveness doesn't come into it. His actions were never ok, never will be ok, forginess is irrelevant. I made changes so that we are safe, really took time to understand his nature so I could decide how to deal with him, worked past my anger, and that's it. There's nothing more to do. I see no place or reason for forginess, just makes no sense to me and if he ever asks me if I forgive him, I'd have to tell him it's not ok what he did, and if he wants to live with it, he needs to find his own way.
"No forgiveness should excuse accountability and responsibility for making someone a victim. "
Probably why I don't see the point of forgiveness, feels like a doge of responsibility and a way of avoiding working through anger.
