Choosing who you are

[SenseMaker007]

A powerful sense of an inborn leaning in a aspect of personal identity in one individual may be matched by near total malleability of the same aspect of identity in another.

But having a more malleable identity is just another aspect to identity. Some people have that more than others (and some people are more resistant to change than others). That still goes in favor of the point that we are who we are and ultimately we can't change it. Everything flows from our fundamental nature.