Things I've Learned From Action Films

[Pat Mustard]

How to look very, very cool walking away from an explosion. 

Some of those "walking away calmly" clips actually make sense, Iron Man's in his suit, the Joker's insane, and both George Clooney (in his first clip, not the From Dusk til Dawn one) and the French officer in the WW1 film needed (for different reasons) to project calm in the eye of a big 'splosion.

PS from the OP, the spoon one is completely true in real life too. In a pinch though you can tie a potato around your neck.

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Any TV detective show the killer is the character who seems the least likely to have done the killing UNLESS there is a famous actor guest star there, in which case they did it.

And in Murder She Wrote. Jessica Fletcher did all them killings then framed a whole load of innocent people.

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Once the evil doer starts to verbally masturbate the end is close at hand.

"If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you're going to die. So they'll talk. They'll gloat. They'll watch you squirm. They'll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar. So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word."

— Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms