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As someone who had depended on their late mother, me, financially my entire life,
the problem isn't giving, the problem is can you afford it.
It is certainly wrong if you can't and it becomes a financial burden on you, in that case you are right to cut them off. But if you can afford it and it isn't draining you, the only expectation you can have is that they don't suck you dry and understand a gift isn't an opportunity to suck you dry.
I had help financially my entire life. But I never would have, nor ever would have taken my mother's last dime. And my late mother was no fool, she never would have let me drain her, and she never did. Nor did I ever think my asking her for help was out of greed, because it was never that.
My mom always expected me to try, no matter what I did. And while she was the financial breadwinner, she always expected me to help her in kind, with whatever I could do, which I did. So as long as you are getting something back, even if not money, but moral or work around the house, then you are fine. It only becomes bad when you give and they are seeking to drain you.
Mutual help isn't always about gender roles or male or female or parent child. It is ok to help family out, as long as they are not draining you and the person asking for help knows you are not a doormat.
Well, I disagree wholeheartedly, but thanks for the advice Brian. There is a very real concern about enabling someone into believe that they don't have to participate in the real world. I think the issue goes much further than just asking, Can I afford it?
But, once again, thanks for your input.
It is up to you always. Never would claim it shouldn't be. But family is family no matter the age and I do not like the stigma aimed at anyone in need. If if were a charity you were giving to not knowing whom you give it to how would that giving be different just because you know them. Some people need help and there is nothing wrong at all helping others.
If nobody is being abused then it shouldn't matter.
