Spanking is a poor deterrent. Studies show that it's ineffective long-term. For one thing, it teaches kids NOT to get caught. So instead of "Don't do X" they learn "Don't do X while mommy's looking." It can also build resentment. I'd know, cause I resented my father every time he spanked me. I almost ALWAYS got revenge on him (often in ways he wouldn't even realize). I'd pour his beers out in the sink, hide his keys, take money from his wallet. Dumbass never realized it most of the time.
I raised SIX kids (my 5 + my sister). Never spanked one of them. My kids knew my rules, and they knew not to break them. This went well into their teenage years. Helped that I was a fairly lenient parent, I'm sure. Probably a little too lenient when it came to some things. I was one of those mom's who the kids knew to say "Yes, ma'am" to because I didn't take no for an answer. I was authoritative, but never authoritarian.
And before people say "Oh, I grew up spanked and I never had any problems" I say Bullshit. Cause you're defending an ineffective deterrent which includes violence against a child. Maybe you're not super fucked up. Doesn't mean you aren't fucked up at all. (We're all a little fucked up if I'm being honest). Spanking increases the likelihood of mental illness, aggressive behaviors (fuck, that describes me right there. I'm super fucking aggressive) and a fucking plethora of other negative effects. (Anti-social behavior, too).
Even if spanking worked, it wouldn't exactly justify it. I mean if you chop off your kid's finger every time he does something bad, and then NEVER does that behavior ever again, it wouldn't justify chopping off his fingers. "The Ends don't justify the means". But that it doesn't work makes it all the worse. It'd be like chopping off your kid's finger when he hit his sister, then he hits his sister again, so you chop off another finger, and then he STILL hits his sister and he ends up fingerless and you have to move on to toes.
Also, if your children are misbehaving SO badly, there's a decent chance it's the one of the parents faults. Sure, there are cases where the kid has mental issues that simply are beyond the parents' control. That's why I say "Decent chance". Bad parenting leads to kids misbehaving most of the time. And yeah, it's definitely hard to raise kids. I didn't have any idea what the fuck I was doing -- had kids way too young, and way too many. There's no instruction booklet that comes with them. Figuring out how to parent is a lot like figuring out how to put an IKEA Table together. Nobody really understands it, not even people who've allegedly written books about it. But some people try a little harder than others, and wind up with a wobbly chair or table, while others leave most of the parts in the box and sit and do nothing, and others still end up with a one-legged chair duct-taped to the floor with most of the pieces still in the box.
I raised SIX kids (my 5 + my sister). Never spanked one of them. My kids knew my rules, and they knew not to break them. This went well into their teenage years. Helped that I was a fairly lenient parent, I'm sure. Probably a little too lenient when it came to some things. I was one of those mom's who the kids knew to say "Yes, ma'am" to because I didn't take no for an answer. I was authoritative, but never authoritarian.
And before people say "Oh, I grew up spanked and I never had any problems" I say Bullshit. Cause you're defending an ineffective deterrent which includes violence against a child. Maybe you're not super fucked up. Doesn't mean you aren't fucked up at all. (We're all a little fucked up if I'm being honest). Spanking increases the likelihood of mental illness, aggressive behaviors (fuck, that describes me right there. I'm super fucking aggressive) and a fucking plethora of other negative effects. (Anti-social behavior, too).
Even if spanking worked, it wouldn't exactly justify it. I mean if you chop off your kid's finger every time he does something bad, and then NEVER does that behavior ever again, it wouldn't justify chopping off his fingers. "The Ends don't justify the means". But that it doesn't work makes it all the worse. It'd be like chopping off your kid's finger when he hit his sister, then he hits his sister again, so you chop off another finger, and then he STILL hits his sister and he ends up fingerless and you have to move on to toes.
Also, if your children are misbehaving SO badly, there's a decent chance it's the one of the parents faults. Sure, there are cases where the kid has mental issues that simply are beyond the parents' control. That's why I say "Decent chance". Bad parenting leads to kids misbehaving most of the time. And yeah, it's definitely hard to raise kids. I didn't have any idea what the fuck I was doing -- had kids way too young, and way too many. There's no instruction booklet that comes with them. Figuring out how to parent is a lot like figuring out how to put an IKEA Table together. Nobody really understands it, not even people who've allegedly written books about it. But some people try a little harder than others, and wind up with a wobbly chair or table, while others leave most of the parts in the box and sit and do nothing, and others still end up with a one-legged chair duct-taped to the floor with most of the pieces still in the box.
"Tradition" is just a word people use to make themselves feel better about being an asshole.
