Spanking?

[arewethereyet]

I agree. Abused children somehow still manage to side with their parents. I'll still defend them.

In the last few years of dad's life as his health was a mess of epic proportions, one of us had to step up and oversee things.  Mom had thrown him out a few years before and taken nearly everything he had (but that a whole other issue).  So which on of us three kids was it going to be?

Of course my younger brother had all the legal rights to do things...what with being a man and all.   My sister and I were clearly not capable of such a task.  But, brother is a pansy ass who thought if he pretended everything was just spiffy then it would be and he could continue his unbothered life.

My sister harbored many of the same grievances against dad as I did though she suffered a lot loss physical abuse than I did.  

So...when shit got deep I was the one to step up.  I have to admit there were times when I had to grit my teeth to fight for better treatment for him when he had spent much of life treating me like a punching bag.  The thought crossed my mind now and then that he deserved every bit of pain and humiliation that came his way.  But I kept on and browbeat my brother to get off his ass and help now and then.  My sister finally stepped up and helped me quite a bit with dad's care.

Yeah...other than when I was a small child and very much daddy's girl, I had been the target of his rage and even learned to take a solid beating without a tear...cause tears pissed him off.  

I stood up for and protected one of my abusers with every tool I had.  There is still a part of me that remembers the brief time in my life where dad was my favorite person on the planet.

I advocated for him with issues with medical staff and hospitals.  I did it because it was the right thing to do.

My mother's day is coming and I have announced that I am not 'it' with her.  She was also physically abusive until she learned how to use dad as her weapon of choice against me.  She used to tape our mouths shut so she didn't have to listen to us talk.  She was verbally and emotionally abusive to a degree I can't even begin to describe other than to say that for me personally  - I knew I would probably heal from a beating, bruises would fade and broken bones would heal - but I still suffer from mom's words.  Many years ago I knew that I would rather take a beating from dad than more abuse from mom.  That and dad apologized quite sincerely before he died...mom didn't do anything wrong - just ask her and she'll tell you.

It's weird - maybe Stockholm syndrome that allows some of us who were abused to stand up for the abuser.