(December 3, 2019 at 9:25 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: It occurs to me that we need a Book - most religions have got a Book. Ours need not be perfect (a perfect Book would violate the very essence of Wombatism), but it makes sense that we have at the very least a set of guidelines for when the rejecters of Wombatism question our deeply held sincere beliefs. I'll start off, but all other Cyrilists should feel free to add and amend as they see fit.
The Creation, Chapter One
1 In the beginning was the Pouch, and the Pouch was eternal. After countless ages, the Pouch did bring forth Cyril, and he was fully formed.
I see an immediate problem. According to this passage The Pouch precedes Cyril and Cyril is logically dependant on it. A dependant deity is laughable, and while Cyril certainly enjoys a good chuckle we want this religion to be taken every bit as seriously as the next. I recommend the following change to avoid this problem.
"1 In the beginning was Cyril, and Cyril was eternal. And Cyril did possess a Pouch. After countless ages, the Pouch did bring forth Cyril, and he was fully formed."
As you can see, that makes a lot more sense and improves the following line as well:
Quote:4 And Cyril did return him to the Pouch and he did sleep for an age and an age, while the hydrogen did be getting on with things.
