Pate Cover Spray! Tired of doing the combover to hide something everybody else notices anyway? Use Pate Cover Spray! The science that brought us flocking for fake Xmas trees has zoomed to new heights in the pathetic attempt realm! Nobody but the rest of the planet will know that you're losing your hair faster than Greenland is losing ice! Order now and we'll include that hat the guy in U2 wears all the damn time, 'cause he ain't bald either!
Caution: Not effective against people who aren't blind.
Caution: Not effective against people who aren't blind.