RE: Deconversion issues.
October 31, 2011 at 5:29 pm
(This post was last modified: October 31, 2011 at 6:03 pm by Ziploc Surprise.)
Thank you for your kind responses and for taking me seriously.
Looks like I will be talking with you soon. Oddly I did choose to be indoctrinated. I became a convert at 12 years of age. Before that I don't remember a time when I didn't believe in spiritual things. My belief happened in the absence of anything to explain my experiences. My folks were Unitarian Universalists who were and still are rather fuzzy headed. When someone witnessed to me about Christianity then came an "explanation". I'm actually not crazy. Slightly autistic but not crazy. The "explanation" given to me by the Christian Fundamentalists (cf) appeared to be plausible (but then again I was 12.)
My first 5 years was dedicated to learning the religion and surviving as a teenager. In college I tried to fit in with a bunch of mindless idiots. I had to hide a lot of my skepticism in order to be accepted. I don't think anyone saw me as a good Christian I had too many questions and I had a nasty habit of telling people to fuck off (not in so unelegant of words mind you) when they tried to feed me too much bullshit. Careers, children, and general numbness took up the time after that. During that time there was enough half way decent community and psychology to make the religion doable.
About 10 years ago I became board with Christianity. I had learned everything there was to learn in church. At first I was too busy with life to have the time to look into the theology behind cf (this theology is stuff they don't teach in church because they think that people are too stupid to understand it. In reality if they were to teach it a lot more people would be atheists because the theology is easily provable as bullshit). The process of unindoctrination has as of yet taken about 5 years and a stack of very thick books. Though 3 years ago I started reading the really heavy stuff. I like to be through about things. To see a thing through many different perspectives.
I suppose I ought to be embarrassed about this, but this is life. there's good and there's bad to things. I have made peace with it.
(October 31, 2011 at 4:27 pm)aleialoura Wrote: Hey, I am a deconverted christian, and also a mental health counselor. I'm here to help you!
You, like so many, are a victim of indoctrination. Firstly, ask yourself why you don't have these feelings about the Hindu gods. You weren't indoctrinated into Hindu beliefs. The human psyche, while powerful is also very fragile. You have an injured psyche and it needs to heal! If I am understanding you correctly, your intellect and logic are telling you that god/religion is bullshit, but you find yourself questioning it, and second guessing yourself. This is normal.
People whom have experienced years of incarceration report that even 2 years of freedom they find it difficult to get rid of old habits they formed in prison. The experiential phenomena is explainable in this way. I hope you don't get offended when I say this, but it must be said: It's a psychological delusion.
You've experienced these mind-tricks for so long that it is hard for you to recognize when you're even having one. You're a victim. Remember that! Every time you have these feelings remember that you didn't choose to have your brain programmed to create delusions during times when your intellect is compromised by fatigue or stress. I would be glad to help you work through these issues if you'd like. I am not a doctor, but I am an excellent listener and a very practical, rational person.
In the meantime:
http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=psyc...i=scholart
Looks like I will be talking with you soon. Oddly I did choose to be indoctrinated. I became a convert at 12 years of age. Before that I don't remember a time when I didn't believe in spiritual things. My belief happened in the absence of anything to explain my experiences. My folks were Unitarian Universalists who were and still are rather fuzzy headed. When someone witnessed to me about Christianity then came an "explanation". I'm actually not crazy. Slightly autistic but not crazy. The "explanation" given to me by the Christian Fundamentalists (cf) appeared to be plausible (but then again I was 12.)
My first 5 years was dedicated to learning the religion and surviving as a teenager. In college I tried to fit in with a bunch of mindless idiots. I had to hide a lot of my skepticism in order to be accepted. I don't think anyone saw me as a good Christian I had too many questions and I had a nasty habit of telling people to fuck off (not in so unelegant of words mind you) when they tried to feed me too much bullshit. Careers, children, and general numbness took up the time after that. During that time there was enough half way decent community and psychology to make the religion doable.
About 10 years ago I became board with Christianity. I had learned everything there was to learn in church. At first I was too busy with life to have the time to look into the theology behind cf (this theology is stuff they don't teach in church because they think that people are too stupid to understand it. In reality if they were to teach it a lot more people would be atheists because the theology is easily provable as bullshit). The process of unindoctrination has as of yet taken about 5 years and a stack of very thick books. Though 3 years ago I started reading the really heavy stuff. I like to be through about things. To see a thing through many different perspectives.
I suppose I ought to be embarrassed about this, but this is life. there's good and there's bad to things. I have made peace with it.
