[Serious] Questions about Belief and Personal Identity

[arewethereyet]

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In another thread, there was some discussion about theists disliking atheists and vice versa. My last comment on that thread was that disliking someone just because of their opinions is rather juvenile. But maybe not always. Many people seem consider certain core beliefs central to their understanding of who they are. I don't know how I feel about that. Beliefs seem more like accidental than essential features of a person. When I think about my own personal identity it certainly seems like a very hap-hazard mix consisting of biological facts (like age), family history, formative experiences, and accumulated opinions about myself, others and the world. When assessing my relationships with others I try not to give too much weight to things I consider accidental, like political affiliations or ethnicity. At the same time these kinds of non-essential aspects of others do sometimes affect their behaviors and my responses to them. For example, keeping my mouth shut in a room full of political partisans or curiosity from hearing someone's thick accent.

So where do beliefs fall into that mix?

How important are various kinds of belief to personal identity?

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To what extent do the expressed beliefs of others alter our opinions of them and why should that be the case?

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Is it possible for a change of belief to produce an essential change in one's identity?

To what extent do the various beliefs of a person tell you something about the nature of someone? Are they open-minded or stubbourn, gullible or reflective, etc.?

Are beliefs a consequence of personal values or are values a consequence of beliefs?

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I just want to start with this one.  When first meeting a new neighbor some 20 odd years ago I did an inner eye roll.  She came to my door with two small boys and a babe in arms.  She pushed the boys to approach me with a fundraiser for their church kids club.  She wanted them to do it themselves.  Then she used the moment to introduce herself and said she was getting nothing out of taking the boys around except for the hope of earning a jewel in her crown in heaven.  My initial thought was "Oh no, here we go."  But since people judged me in that little southern town for being raised Catholic I intended to keep an open mind thinking that our encounters would probably be minimal anyway and it doesn't hurt to be polite to your neighbors.  And she was cheerleader perky with big hair and a lovely smile to go with her drawl.

Fast forward...along the way she had two more boys and my son was like a big brother to them...teaching them to throw a football and play baseball and shoot baskets. And since I worked outside the home, she was my son's other mother when needed.  She and I were both raised Catholic...she became Pentacostal and I, atheist.  We talked quite a lot about what we did and didn't believe.  Our birthdays were less than a week apart in June (though a decade apart in years).  Though we are miles apart, we are still in contact and she is one of my favorite people.  My son is still in touch with her boys.  Her faith just is.  It doesn't feel forced or put on for show.  She is genuine and she is also real.  With a drug addicted mother and son and an alcoholic father, she isn't unaware of the dark side of life.  It's not all rainbows and butterflies.  And her faith has been tested.

She is funny, can be irreverent, has an occassional drink and a cigarette and no one has to censor themselves around her and she doesn't always have her filter on either.  The best thing is that while her faith is important to her and she wants her family to share in it, she does not feel it's her job to change other people.  She says that the god she believes in will reveal himself to people in his own time.  She just lives her beliefs.

What's important is how you treat people.  We all have differences in a variety of things.  That makes things interesting.