[Serious] Questions about Belief and Personal Identity

[tackattack]

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In another thread, there was some discussion about theists disliking atheists and vice versa. My last comment on that thread was that disliking someone just because of their opinions is rather juvenile. But maybe not always. Many people seem consider certain core beliefs central to their understanding of who they are. I don't know how I feel about that. Beliefs seem more like accidental than essential features of a person. When I think about my own personal identity it certainly seems like a very hap-hazard mix consisting of biological facts (like age), family history, formative experiences, and accumulated opinions about myself, others and the world. When assessing my relationships with others I try not to give too much weight to things I consider accidental, like political affiliations or ethnicity. At the same time these kinds of non-essential aspects of others do sometimes affect their behaviors and my responses to them. For example, keeping my mouth shut in a room full of political partisans or curiosity from hearing someone's thick accent.

So where do beliefs fall into that mix?

How important are various kinds of belief to personal identity?

To what extent do the expressed beliefs of others alter our opinions of them and why should that be the case?

Is it possible for a change of belief to produce an essential change in one's identity?

To what extent do the various beliefs of a person tell you something about the nature of someone? Are they open-minded or stubbourn, gullible or reflective, etc.?

Are beliefs a consequence of personal values or are values a consequence of beliefs?

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Rather than take each question individually I'd rather just spill my thoughts on identity and beliefs.
1. We are not one thing, we are a story. Part of that story is what we believe, and what others believe about us, what we expect of ourselves, and what others expect from us. It is a story being written now, so that we are the sum of what we've been what we are in this moment and the expectations of our future. Success and contentment for me is when reality matches the story.
2. Our brains are really complex sorting hats. We identify things and define them from our unique perspective. Then we relate them to other similar things and classify it as this or that, us or them, good or bad, etc.. When it's been classified we gain knowledge which might impact other relationships and definitions. A perfect example is the definition of "what is a man" everyone has their own perspective but when I was younger, I thought being a man meant having a peepee. As my world view expanded and that value definition wasn't deep enough, I sought more definition. I added attributes that someone I saw as a man had. It grew my definition of what it means to be a man. As the years move on that's changed and will continue to.
3. This is all tied heavily with value as well. I can say I'm a man, but not that kind of man. Someone else has a different value of what's a man and I don't match that. They don't value my definition as much as theirs and react to me based on their valuation. This is why stereotypes and generalizations exist and can be accurate to their degree.
4. As time moves on definitions change. We move the goal posts on ourselves. There is a reason that the only constant thing is change. Change is tied to the ebb and passing of time. We have beliefs, based on definitions and values, those definitions or values change and it's a changed belief, which changes "us" which changes other's perception of us, which changes their definition related to their classification of us and so on...

/2cents