Grandfather in poor health

[Tomatoshadow2]

"You basically answered yourself in the conclusion of your post.

It is called the comforting lie for a reason. "


Right, this is a good point, that my family is lieing to themselves to feel better about the situation.

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I hear ya.


Begging the guy who is ( supposedly) killing you hardly seems like a good idea.

It' s right up there with making deals with the mafia, paying kidnappers or negotiating with terrorists.

Yes, this is something I'm struggling with witnessing.

If you care for your grandfather this is not the time for anger. It's time to show support and comfort, for gramps and the family.

There will be plenty of time for anger later.

Right, i get what your saying, but being the only atheist in the family, you know it's tough to really offer any support, as I'm really just going through it on my own. Realizing death is just a fact of life, nothing I can do to change that.


I watched my late mother take her last breath in a nursing home. Of course I screamed when that happened. Several staff rushed me out and took me to a conference room to console me. "God" "God" "God"........ It was everything I could do not to scream at them, especially knowing many of them knew I was an atheist. 

There is a double standard with theists. When we attend their funerals we are expected to keep our mouths shut during their mourning, and we do. But we cant express ourselves when it is us in time of crisis. After her body was taken to the funeral home, I came home and got online with other atheists and they completely understood and I was allowed to be myself.

Death is an unfortunate part of life. But yea, "God" is simply a comforting lie people convince themselves of. When the inevitable happens you can certainly come here and vent. It is always good to have others to lean on and talk to that understand you.

But as long as he is alive, just give him comfort without confrontation. I did the same with my mom. She was a lifetime Catholic. I never confronted her with religious debate when she was in decline.
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Yes, I agree, the thing is though, when he does pass, I won't be at the awkward funereal, like you, all my family knows, I don't believe in religion, so always a target session against me. My grandpa and I have had, a distant relationship over my older years of being an adult, I think he still holds it against me for not being religious.

It’s never easy to watch a loved one at the end of life. Condolences.

Boru

Thanks Boru, appreciate you.

I'm sorry.  It's a difficult thing to watch the end of someone's days. People handle this life event in very different ways.

The best thing to do is seethe at the comments in private or come here and blast away, we get it.

Thanks for this, yes I've always done that, as no one in my family gets the atheist view point. Yes, I appreciate you and everyone else here.

I'm sorry to hear about his health.  I'll likely be saying goodbye to my parents within a few years (or they could die suddenly).

Everyone creates a story for themselves that explains their purpose, and makes death bearable.  All of them are going to be wrong (though some are more wrong than others).  I'm fine with letting people live and die with whatever comforting myth they hold.

Thanks for the comment, I see your point, people don't want to think about death just as the end you know, one thing about being a proud atheist, I don't fear death or what it is anymore.

People who don’t believe in resurrection are dealing with and processing a different event than people who do.  I imagine that can be an isolating at a painful time and could lead to unspoken concern(s) at the worst possible moment.  Sucks man.  My dad died awhile back.  I doubt it gets better, but it gets easier.

Yes good point, yeah it has gotten better, just realized you know it is the end for him, nothing I can fix. Sorry to hear you lost your dad. How'd you process that, compared to your family?