Scary claims of God's punishments

[brewer]

It's really difficult for fictional characters in a book to punish anyone, but if you really want a god to hand out some well deserved karma, you have to write by hand on paper the following a million times.

Dear god, smite me with hand cramps as payment for my delusional thinking.

That might not be such a bad exercise for a patient person, although I would change the message to something more positive, and only write it a thousand times.

Instead of writing couldn't the person just masturbate? At least that way something good would actually cum of it.