Welcome. The OP raises a very valid experiece. Many people, including many close to me, find the problem of evil very troubling. And in my deepest grief I feel the abursurdity of existence acutely. IMHO there are reasonable ways to ponder the problem, such as Liebnitz's "Best of All Possible Worlds" defense, weak sauce tho it may be. Personally, I accept that creation must be imperfect since God alone can be perfect. But one does wonder why it must still be so miserable.
<insert profound quote here>
