Need criticism and assistance

[Shell B]

Sorry for not being very clear. This is by no means a rough draft. Or even a thesis statement. This is but a fragment out of my notes. I do plan on cleaning it up a shit ton. With my notes, I just write all the little things that come to me throughout the day.

Then you haven't given us much to critique then, have you? Hook me up with a thesis statement or an outline and I can give you better advice. In the meantime, get in the habit of using there and their correctly. I promise that little bit will go a long way.