What the fuck even is my life

[Ahriman]

I really did. I pay for it every day. But I have to wonder if this continual "paying for it" is justified, I mean, was it really that severe?

You're the one torturing you though, right? I mean you're the one making yourself pay. 

I'd rather feel guilty for what I'd done than be someone with no conscience. 

Nobody here knows enough to give you good advice, but I hope that time will lessen the pain.

Well I don't have a conscience and I still feel guilty. I know that doesn't make sense. It's like I feel guilty for not having a conscience.