Depression
October 1, 2023 at 11:04 pm
(This post was last modified: October 2, 2023 at 8:46 pm by arewethereyet.)
I've heard both sides of the debate about whether or not depression is a real illness, or just something in your head. I've been dealing with clinical depression ever since I had to retire and go on permanent disability in 2015. When my doctor told me that he was worried about my mental, as well as physical health, I thought he was kidding at first.
I had no idea how right he was, having to walk away from my job after over 35 years of doing the same kind of work, and realizing that I was no longer able to earn a living, can really do a number on your head. We had to sell our home because I had zero income, and then move in with family. We were living on my wife's income alone, because I didn't start receiving disability payments for over a year.
During that time, I was having a very hard time with chronic pain from osteoarthritis, and what turned out to be a ruptured disc in my neck that was causing random stabbing pain all over. I ended up having knee surgery 3 times, spinal-fusion surgery in my neck 2 different times, elbow surgery, and 3 carpal tunnel surgeries.
This was all from late 2015 until the fall of 2018. I also had pneumonia twice. Plus, the neuropathy in my feet became more of an issue. (geez)
I was severely depressed during this entire time, and considered killing myself on more than one occasion. I was taking one medication for this, but after talking to my family and my doctor, he switched me onto two different medications, and I started counseling, which I'm still doing.
As I've gotten older(64), my arthritis pain hasn't improved. The neuropathy stops me from walking or standing on my feet for more than 10-15 minutes. I've also got spinal stenosis in my lower back now that makes my legs go completely numb if I'm on my feet for too long.
It feels like I'm literally falling apart sometimes. I'm currently taking 8 prescription medications for all of this crap, with no end in sight. Except for the obvious.
Sorry for venting here, I needed to do it.
I had no idea how right he was, having to walk away from my job after over 35 years of doing the same kind of work, and realizing that I was no longer able to earn a living, can really do a number on your head. We had to sell our home because I had zero income, and then move in with family. We were living on my wife's income alone, because I didn't start receiving disability payments for over a year.
During that time, I was having a very hard time with chronic pain from osteoarthritis, and what turned out to be a ruptured disc in my neck that was causing random stabbing pain all over. I ended up having knee surgery 3 times, spinal-fusion surgery in my neck 2 different times, elbow surgery, and 3 carpal tunnel surgeries.
This was all from late 2015 until the fall of 2018. I also had pneumonia twice. Plus, the neuropathy in my feet became more of an issue. (geez)
I was severely depressed during this entire time, and considered killing myself on more than one occasion. I was taking one medication for this, but after talking to my family and my doctor, he switched me onto two different medications, and I started counseling, which I'm still doing.
As I've gotten older(64), my arthritis pain hasn't improved. The neuropathy stops me from walking or standing on my feet for more than 10-15 minutes. I've also got spinal stenosis in my lower back now that makes my legs go completely numb if I'm on my feet for too long.
It feels like I'm literally falling apart sometimes. I'm currently taking 8 prescription medications for all of this crap, with no end in sight. Except for the obvious.
Sorry for venting here, I needed to do it.
