Who counts as queer?

[Ahriman]

1) Yeah I don't think they belong because they are not "queer" in the same sense as all the others, being asexual isn't queer, it's just not caring about sex
2) Well I mean, there has to be a limit to what people identify as, otherwise the whole concept of "identity" becomes meaningless
3) Actually that sounds like me, I used to fantasize about having relationships with anime and video game girls, then I started becoming unhealthily infatuated with IRL girls 
4) They aren't outside heteronormative society, heterosexuals can have multiple partners or fetishes too

1) But I can't see the consistency here.  If the criteria is about sexual proclivity, that would eliminate transfolk.  If the criteria is being outside heteronormativity that would seem to include asexual folk.

2)  The limit would usually be set at (within many progressive queer communities): sincere, with some reasoning, in a way that doesn't contradict objective external reality.  All social construct identities, especially gendered ones, would therefore be valid.

3) OK.

4) I think that depends on what is meant by 'normative' as opposed to just 'heteosexual'.  Heteronormative often seems to include more, and is a more expansive term, than just heterosexual.

I've always been in love with things or people that don't love me back. It isn't healthy at all.