More proof god hates me

[Autumnlicious]

Dude no - i am not taking alchohol with lithium! I took that picture the otherday because i told my guild that i would OD and die with my meds, and they said "pics or it didnt happen" so i took that pic an dposted it on the forum

They don't have time or the care to deal with someone who is unstable.

That's what crisis hotlines are for.

And dude i am upset, because no matter HOW HARD i try to get better - I NEVER DO

That's the depression talking. I said the same thing this morning when I missed the train that I've been trying to get up early for weeks and stuck to that for 10 minutes.

I know that it seems lost. Angering. Despair. Rage. And fatalism.

Soldier through it.

because i know that god is screwing me. please i know u guys are like , yeah we are in control of our lives
but i am NOT
i try my best to be stable, to get better to do things right

There are things we can control and things we cannot.

Most of all, you must stop obsessing on your depression and 'feeling bad'.

Tell the bad feelings that they'll be gone, they'll go away.

Talk to yourself in a mirror and instead of talking down, talk yourself up.

You need to establish a working relationship with yourself before you can see what is making your life more difficult.

but my situations i end up in ARE NOT JUST COINCIDENCE

That's what you think.

god screws with me

ie: when my gf cheated on me, i was just depresed, but ALL day god would show me all the happy couples on campus - he was rubbing it in

Did it ever occur to you that you were feeling bad and finding a REASON TO FEEL BAD?

Come on man, YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THE BAD.

Of course every silver lining has a cloud.

Don't obsess on it.

Wish those happy couples well. Take joy in their love. Be happy for them.

That is the only way I can combat my incredible lonliness, which I have known since 7 years old and ostracized at a small mountain school of 70 students.

and last week i was thinking okay ill never do college ill be on disability - well mom took me out, and i saw all the college kids in our town partying down town and having fun

DO YOU SEE? CAN U EVEN SEE WHAT I AM GORING THROUGH? i know most atheists just believe in science - BUT PLEAES TRY TO SEE WHAT I SEE

I see it.

And you're attributing MAJOR things to MINOR observations.

How many happy couples are there in the world walking everyday? A lot of them.

Why should any day be different?

Why should GOD personally intervene and show you WHAT HAPPENS EVERY FUCKING DAY?!?!

You're obsessed with the bad.

Learn to obsess on the good.

That's truly the only coping mechanism we have when we're depressed and down.