(August 23, 2012 at 8:52 am)sleep Wrote:(August 23, 2012 at 1:16 am)aleialoura Wrote: Thanks for being a prick! I was dying for someone to verbally assault.You seem very angry. People say that I have emotional, mood, and anger issues. I feel like yelling at people a lot too.
Anyway I did think about my OP a bit and I realize that although it may seem true, I think I'm just bitter because most people reject me and mock me and hate me. Most gay men do too. The only ones who ever asked me out or liked me were the ugly desperate ones. It just makes me mad that I could never fit in or be considered cool by anyone. I've been told that I'm "projecting my self-hatred" onto everyone else. Maybe so, but I wouldn't have that self-hatred if everyone wasn't so mean to me to begin with.
It still seems a hell of a lot easier to be straight, though. I always feel paranoid now. That I'm too feminine, that it's too obvious that I'm gay, that I'm hiding something, and I can't really help it. I don't even want to talk to anyone anymore or go out in public.
I'm 19, I turn 20 in two months.
Why did you get the abuse? Could it be because you projected your anger onto others? Life is frightening, there are no guarantees. You are just like the rest of us, the problems might vary, but we all have them. You can blame, and protest, or you can sort through them. The problems I have I am not anywhere near solving, but I know they are not anybodies fault, and they will not be solved by hiding either myself or the problems. Get out and start living.
