So...guess I'm the new guy

[Vincenzo Vinny G.]

LOL yes yes I'm a Christian, sure. I'm scared, I'll confess I'll do anything you want.

Oh no I'm so offended you said mean things. Ouch eek ook aak.

Waah waah I'm weeping shocked and appalled. I don't know what I could possibly do.

(Pick which one of the replies you like the most, or pick several and combine them. then pretend they came from me)

Hi Vinny,

Please forgive me if I was rude. I had to be because you deliberately refused to answer what is so obvious to all of us. You came to this forum representing yourself as an atheist. You claimed to be a rational atheist who found theism reasonable. After a few posts, it became obvious to all of us that you were not being honest and you're in fact a Christian. We challenged you to blaspheme the Holy Trinity just to make sure that you're really what you claimed to be.

You didn't reply by admitting you were a Christian. You continued representing yourself as an atheist but you made it seem like blasphemy was such a difficult thing to do. You put ridiculous conditions on us before you would even consider whether to blaspheme.

To this day, you continue to represent yourself as an atheist. Your signature contains the words "Honour the truth". I'm appealing to you to be truthful. If you are a Christian (which is what everyone believes you to be), can you please refrain from telling lies that you are an atheist and can you stop the dishonesty and just admit the truth that you are a Christian? I'm only appealing to you to be honest. Telling lies will not endear you to anyone nor will it make your cause any more respectable.

I hope you will consider this carefully and do the right thing - own up to a lie if you have lied and set the record straight. Jesus would want you to be honest - think about it.

Dear greneknight,

Thank you for your kind and respectful post. It was a refreshing change from the status quo that your posting has become. You are forgiven for being rude. I hold no ill will towards you. I take it you want me to say that I am a Christian. As a way of coercing me to admit I am a Christian (or possibly just to test my allegiance to atheism), you want me to take the blasphemy challenge. I am pleased and impressed by the kindness and generosity you have extended towards me in this post. I find it touching and sincerely hope it continues.

I first heard people whispering that I was a Christian, a number of days ago. As the rumors kept spreading, more and more people bought into them. It turned into outright accusations and heated rhetoric. I heard a few attempts to blaspheme Jesus and the Christian(?) God. Perhaps in an attempt to rile me up or offend me. And then, I believe, came the blasphemy challenge. As the calls to blaspheme grew louder, my conditions grew firmer. I even set a deadline for my conditions to be met. Unfortunately, those who called for me to blaspheme did not take my conditions seriously.

You see, when I heard the whispers of me being a Christian, I honestly felt a sinking feeling. What gave that impression? Why were they being so hostile? Why was I being rejected? Did I get caught? Was I going to be in trouble? It was funny to me, how a little internet community, little more than pixels on a 1020p widescreen monitor with excellent contrast ratio at a low price thanks to a great sale at Walmart back in 2011, had such a grip on my feelings. Ugh. I couldn't sleep for at least two days. I woke up dreary and haggard. My eyes felt heavy. My shoulders dropped. I lost my appetite. I felt terrible. To be honest, all this might have also been the result of last night's curry. Don't blame yourself.

But do you want to know the truth? I'll tell you the truth: It's one thing to insult me, think I am a Christian, troll me, roll me, turn me up and bowl me, accuse me, use me, eat me cake and choose me, harass me, gas me, wear my pants and sass me.

But it's another thing to coerce me. Into anything. Even if I wanna do it, freely, willingly. The very act of somebody trying to force you, or challenge you, or somehow manipulate or threaten you into doing anything, even if it's something you wanted to do, is something I'm not cool with. I want to do something because I want to do it, not because someone else is violating my own free will and personal agency to get me to do it. That's not cool.

As a way to make it less coerced, and make it more balanced, more quid pro quo, I introduced my own conditions: Where instead of someone else demanding something of me, we cooperated with each other and gave each other what we wanted.

But, you didn't keep up your end of the bargain. This turned a good faith discussion into, unfortunately, a bad-faith one. You would not respect my conditions, yet you expected, even tried to coerce me into respecting yours. Not cool, bro. Not cool.

Now let's set the record straight: I take it, you're not interested in me pledging allegiance to some religion that I very likely don't even subscribe to. You are more interested in finding out the truth.

Let me know if you want to make this consensual. A quid pro quo. Two friends, helping each other out, rather than engaging in coercion, bad-faith moves and all that negativity. Keep in mind, I actually want to come out with the truth. So right now, that's all I want to know. Keep me posted.

The person formerly known as Vinny.