Atheism +

[thesummerqueen]

I made the point on Facebook today that my favorite conundrum is this: that a woman complains that she is told to "suck it up" if someone gropes or harasses her. And then a guy complains if a woman does the same thing to him and guess what? He's told "suck it up - isn't that what all guys wish they had?" So it's okay to tell guys that, but it's emotionally abusive to do it to women. Well do you want equal treatment? Then stop acting like a shithead and assuming a man wants you as much as you don't want him.

The thing that gets me is that parents teach their children the dumbest things. "Tell an adult if someone touches you in the wrong place". But usually they make that "someone" out to be a man. What about when you're an adult? How about teaching people who to go to when you don't feel like your superior would support you? How about teaching your kids responsible drinking habits and about date-rape drugs so they will always understand what "consent" means? Stop teaching them that the random stranger who strikes up a conversation with you could be a rapist - it's much more likely it'll be the guy/girl who gained your trust so they have opportunity. (That's the same for pedophiles too, btw - much more likely to be someone who tested the waters and gained that kid's trust first.)

Of course, if I admonish people that maybe they shouldn't act like retards, they say I'm victim blaming. Not at all - anyone who does anything without your consent should be punished. You, on the other hand, are your first line of defense. Don't trust others to do it just because "they should know better".

Which is why I hate this "guys, be aware!" No, fuckers, not everyone has the same values and customs. Here's what we need to follow: don't touch someone without permission first, and no matter what, unless a safe-word was explicitly established first, no - at any point - means no. End of story.

But there are criminals who will do what they want regardless, and they are the bad apples that DON'T spoil the whole barrel. I wish people had the ability to see the shades of gray between all those lines.