Ex-Christians

[Aroura]

I was raised a Catholic. I went to private Catholic School K through 6. I can't even say I regret that, because at last the classes were small, and they actually taught critical thinking alongside religion class. Which is super ironic, looking back now. I went to church twice a week. Once for kids mas (wednesdays), and of course Sundays with my mom.
I remember my first communion (I got a HORSE from my mom, though we already had 2). I fervently hoped to become a nun when I grew up, it really appealed to me, the thought of devoting my life to God and the poor. Now I just help the poor. I don't need God in order to be devoted to helping people (That was a liberating realization as an adult).

I went to bible camp 3 years running (ages 12, 13 and 14). I married in a Lutheran church, because I had not found a Catholic one I liked after moving to the big city, but Catholics accepted Lutheran marriages, and that was extremely important to me.

So yes, I completely believed up until I was about 20 or so, and considered myself a Christian, through and through. I told one of my old HS friends last year I was an atheist, and she told me that of all the people she even knew, she would have guessed that would happen to me the least, because I was so devout in my youth. My mom still refuses to accept it, and claims I'm just having a crisis of faith (for 10 + years...yep)
Although between 24 and 30 I did have serious doubts, I was what you might call a "fallen away" Catholic...otherwise known as deist. It wasn't like I was one day a believer, and the next day not. It came gradually. Basically, for years I knew it was pretty stupid, but refused to confront the issue, so I just held onto a vague belief in god, out of fear mostly I think.