"Offensive Weapons" in the UK

[Cinjin]

Dear Mr. Bassong,

I was dismayed by the position the British government is taking regarding the definition and possession of a defensive weapon. I of course have the right to carry fully loaded firearms capable of piercing 6" of solid oak, but I live in a gun crazy society and I suppose it's apples and oranges.

The actual reason I'm writing you today is to let you know about something called galvanized pipe. Nearly everyone on earth has a reason to carry galvanized pipe with them at any time and for many many different reasons. Now I realize that it's not a police baton, but in the end isn't a police baton just a really fancy painted stick? Cheap, handy, transportable, disposable, replaceable ... there are several bonuses for replacing your old baton with galvanized pipe, but lets remember the best thing about the pipe: it doesn't come with £1000 fine for carrying it in your car.

At any rate, I just wanted to make you aware of this handy non-offensive weapon that can totally beat the jesus out of nearly anything.

Your Concerned American Neighbor,

Cinjin

Everyone plumbs something at some point in life.

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