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The Noachian Flood
#1
The Noachian Flood
... what was that all about?

The story so far:

Yahweh's Garden of Eden experiment either goes spectacularly wrong or is one hundred percent successful, depending on unspecified criteria for success. Protohumans Adam and Eve learn to distinguish good from evil, in defiance of Yahweh's manipulative instructions against the act, and are expelled from their petri dish existence into the world at large, tainted with Original Sin. Generations pass...

The world has become so corrupted with sin and wickedness that all-powerful Yahweh simply cannot cope. It decides that the only option for eradicating all this evil from the world is the original gritty reboot. To that end, it sterilises the world with an unprecedented and unnecessarily cruel flood.

Now after that preamble, here are my observations. First, it's clear from the narrative that Yahweh has not yet been granted the omniscience upgrade. Indeed, the character at this early stage is really rather limited in comparison with its later portrayal; it has trouble locating characters hiding behind a tree, for instance.

Second, with a nod to my first point, why not simply blink creation out of existence and start totally afresh? Bear in mind that before Yahweh literally wished all matter, energy and physics into existence, there was nothing but void. Was it really necessary to keep anything from the original creation?

Finally, the reboot plan never had a chance of succeeding since it was hamstrung by Yahweh itself. For some reason, it took the precaution of preserving a (barely) breeding sample of the very lifeforms that had led to the murderous intervention in the first place. Even bearing my second point in mind, doesn't it make much more sense to have a fresh installation of Humanity 2.0? To put this into perspective, here's an analogy. There is a species of invasive bamboo-like plant called Japanese Knotweed, which spreads like wildfire, causes havoc to the environment and is notoriously difficult to eradicate. The Flood story would be like a gardener clearing out the weed, then sterilising the garden with a deluge of ocean-strength salt water, before restocking it with the preserved samples of all the plants that were growing there - including the knotweed.

Thoughts?
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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Messages In This Thread
The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - December 16, 2012 at 2:18 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Faith No More - December 16, 2012 at 3:05 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - December 16, 2012 at 3:10 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Faith No More - December 16, 2012 at 3:17 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by SpecUVdust - December 16, 2012 at 3:18 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Minimalist - December 16, 2012 at 3:48 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by SpecUVdust - December 16, 2012 at 4:14 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Something completely different - December 16, 2012 at 4:18 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - December 16, 2012 at 4:35 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by pocaracas - December 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Lion IRC - December 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Minimalist - December 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by SpecUVdust - December 16, 2012 at 8:33 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by pocaracas - December 17, 2012 at 7:43 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - December 16, 2012 at 8:51 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - December 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by popeyespappy - December 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - December 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Jackalope - December 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Dee Dee Ramone - December 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by popeyespappy - December 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - December 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Zen Badger - December 17, 2012 at 7:32 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - December 17, 2012 at 9:11 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Zen Badger - December 17, 2012 at 9:23 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - December 17, 2012 at 10:33 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by YahwehIsTheWay - December 17, 2012 at 12:01 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - December 18, 2012 at 4:25 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - December 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - December 20, 2012 at 1:16 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by downbeatplumb - December 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - December 20, 2012 at 1:48 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by downbeatplumb - December 20, 2012 at 2:31 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - December 23, 2012 at 12:09 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by downbeatplumb - December 23, 2012 at 1:22 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - December 20, 2012 at 2:10 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - December 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Lachrymose - January 6, 2013 at 10:32 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - December 18, 2012 at 5:21 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - December 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - December 18, 2012 at 9:04 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - December 19, 2012 at 11:10 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - December 21, 2012 at 9:44 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - December 23, 2012 at 12:39 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Minimalist - December 23, 2012 at 12:11 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - December 23, 2012 at 4:49 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - January 3, 2013 at 12:02 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Zen Badger - January 3, 2013 at 7:36 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 6, 2013 at 12:34 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Zen Badger - January 6, 2013 at 7:07 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Minimalist - January 6, 2013 at 11:33 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - January 9, 2013 at 3:35 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Minimalist - January 9, 2013 at 5:40 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - January 10, 2013 at 5:47 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 6, 2013 at 11:00 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 9, 2013 at 3:39 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 15, 2013 at 7:01 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - January 15, 2013 at 7:46 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Minimalist - January 15, 2013 at 7:06 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 15, 2013 at 8:04 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - January 15, 2013 at 8:12 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 15, 2013 at 8:14 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - January 15, 2013 at 8:23 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cato - January 15, 2013 at 11:13 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 15, 2013 at 11:16 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cato - January 15, 2013 at 11:22 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 15, 2013 at 11:35 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - January 15, 2013 at 11:35 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 15, 2013 at 11:42 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - January 15, 2013 at 11:59 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 16, 2013 at 12:00 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - January 16, 2013 at 12:17 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 16, 2013 at 9:49 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by catfish - January 16, 2013 at 1:33 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by garbishcan - January 16, 2013 at 10:12 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by The Grand Nudger - January 16, 2013 at 10:31 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by Cyberman - January 16, 2013 at 9:53 pm
RE: The Noachian Flood - by garbishcan - January 16, 2013 at 10:53 am
RE: The Noachian Flood - by jonb - January 16, 2013 at 10:43 pm

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