(December 17, 2012 at 8:51 am)Aractus Wrote: I think you're showing the exact lack of common sense that the OP was referring to. Let's consider his wording for a moment "utter lack of respect". This implies explicit disrespect for those with differing values. You seem to want to excuse that kind of behaviour, Brian. You've made it clear that yours is conditional. "I'll show them respect when they earn it from me". Treating someone with respect and dignity is different from respecting their views, and I believe the former is what the OP is referring to more than the latter. There is no need to respect somebody else's conflicting values so long as you show that person you are capable of being respectful and treating them as equal.
Behavior is conditional and situational. "Respect" is far too a loaded word and is far too widely abused. I hate that word. You can know that people are equal and treat them as such and value their rights, but that is conditional, much like an abused spouse does not have to "respect" the abuser.
Fuck the word "respect". I hate it, it is a word used far to often by the insecure and bullies and religious zealots.
I use the word "value" not "respect". I value people who treat me well. I dont however, always expect them to walk on eggshells for me to placate my emotions, which is WHY how I interact with others is conditional.
"Respect" is used far too often by people to set up taboos in order to avoid having their egos bruised.
Being offended even by friends or loved ones does not always mean you are being "disrespected". Sometimes even in personal relationships someone might say to us, "that is stupid" or "that is wrong", or "don't be an idiot", and we can tell that they only are talking about a claim or behavior and not you as a person. "Respect" allows far to many to avoid honesty to protect one's own ego.
That is why I avoid the word "respect". I want to be valued, not "respected". I don't need to ask others to placate my emotions to protect my ego if they value me. If they value me, they will know me well enough to be honest with me and also value how we expect each other to interact, and that can only be conditional. Anything less is merely passive aggressive and an unreasonable expectation to subjugate oneself to another.
