I was at the zoo today..or..the true adventures of Dotard.

[Dotard]

Joke? I tell no jokes, only true stories.

Like this one:

I was once stranded on an island with a pig and a dog. Every evening we had a ritual where we would go to the west side of the island and watch the sunset.

Usually it's a beautiful sight and very romantic. Well, I got to feeling kinda randy so I put my arm around the pig and started to make my move.

Well, the dog wasn't going to have any of that and promptly got between me and pig and growled and bared his teeth.

I got the message and didn't do that again. Then one day......

a beautiful girl washed up on shore, probably from a shipwreck somewhere, I carry her to my hut and nurse her back to health. When she got well I took her along on our nightly sunset watching ritual.

Again it was a beautiful sight, very romantic. I got that randy feeling again.


I leaned over to whisper in the girl's ear.......


"Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"