(June 19, 2013 at 4:42 pm)deceptive_illusion Wrote: hi everyone,
I am very glad to have found these forums, finally a place where I can clearly express my thoughts.
I come from a moderately conservative household and I live in Pakistan along with my parents and siblings, all of whom are Muslims. About, 3-4 years ago when i was about 15 I started to have doubts in my mind over the reality of god and his absolute power, overtime these doubts which are still to this day unresolved, and a book "THE GRAND DESIGN" led me to become a deist first and then an atheist.
Now, after my de-conversion I feel so lightened and contended for being honest to myself and facing the truth, that no matter how harsh or cold it is, I want to face it, because it's the reality!
However, a fundamental problem still remains. it's very difficult for me to contain my thoughts and to pretend to be a Muslim. I feel so frustrated sometimes, that i just want to come up clean but, I can't because of the utterly hostile response that I'll get from my community.
F.Y.I
half of the people here firmly believe that punishment for abandoning islamic beliefs is death!
That sucks. It actually pisses me off living in the west to hear Christians cry about persecution. Normally I have a quip for newbies, but considering the serous nature of your life, I can only wish you the best and hope someday you can escape to a safer environment. Stay safe and be careful.
