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Were your parents violent?
#1
Were your parents violent?
Some weeks or a few months ago, the most dispicable member of this forum wrote a reply to one of my posts, stating that if I was beaten more often as a child, I would be "a better person". That kept me thinking for quite a while and recent events here surrounding a scandal in which children were violently abused, I got to think about that subject even more.


My parents actualy did beat me and they did it frequently for a very long time despite it being illegal. Mostly my father, who would use a wooden stick/club, would demand that I pull my pants down. If I wouldnt, he would thrash the thing arround my face until I pulled them down. Occasionaly he would use his hands, but not very often. My mother would just use whatever she could get her hands on. Books, cables, boxes, plastic bottles, whatever. She had a pritty hard punch that was capable of throwing a child off a chair.

The beatings were not always given for " bad things", yet sometimes they were. For example when I sat on my mums glasses once and broke them, or when I jumped into a pool in my clothes at a bbq by friends of my parents or when I started crying in a toy store when I wouldnt get a something that I really wanted. For my parents it was mainly a method that was supposed to "create interrest" and at one point in my life it unfortunatly would be combined and get worse with another sad chapter in my life.

The "creating interrest" part is a rather sad part that most people aswell as I myself cannot grasp and which my parents (a few years ago) appologised for. My parents for example payed for piano lessons when I was 6 or 7, I was not interested, so they started beating me. The beating was supposed to get me "interested" in learning the piano and I will never forget the vicious beating I got when I was kicked out of the piano lessons for "lack of interrest". Yet the beatings would continue, since my parents would give me guitar lessons, flute lessons, french lessons and other of which they thought I could gain interest for by being beaten to the point that I couldnt even sit. My parents were obsessed with the idea of "creating a child" that was overly intelligent. reading, counting and most of the things which were mentioned above had to be learned years before I entered school. Later in my life I came to the conclusion that to them I was more a science project than a son. I know that my father felt bad about it. I know that he absolutly hated what he was doing and that my mother pressured him into doing it. He would later become very depressed about this and was the first one who wanted to talk things through and appologise.

The beating which are connected with a rather tragic chapter of my life stand at the start of a tragedy which made me the fucked up person I am. I was viciously bullied from day one that I entered school at the age of 6. I was forced to eat paper, dead flies, earth worms and other bugs. Forced to lick clean the black board and to lick clean the organic waste bin in the class. I was regularey shoved into an electric fence on the way to school, once ( I remeber very clearly) I entangled myself and it took me five minutes to get out whilest getting shocked every 3 or 5 seconds. It was a jump into a pile of shit. I had known violence before, but never encountered violence on such a collective scale. For a young child looking forward to school, it destrys a part of you. Anyway, I remember one faitfull day in my life: the first parent-teacher confrence and I looked forward to it because I thought my parents would help me.
They came home and beat the living crap out of me. The teacher had told them that I had done all these things because "I wanted attention" and not because I was forced to. To this day I dont know if that was done because she hadn`t noticed or because of whatever other reason. On some occasions, some of the grade school teachers would also give beatings. But important is, it changed my life on a massive scale. From age 6 to age 15 I would be bullied and abused on a scale that I dont feel comfortable writing about here. Things were done to me that gave me nightmares that will probably follow me into my grave. And all the while, whilest I was forced to do horrible things to amuse a bunch of wicked sadists, I had to be scared that my parents would find out. Because no matter what I was found doing. Was it being forced to eat bugs, or much worse, my parents never believed that it was forced. And every conversation between them and a teacher would start with something like "Oh that attention deficite". Way to school - beating, school - beating, way home - beating, home crying and sometimes beating, for 9 years.

At age 15 or 14 my mother smashed a book arround my head while I was writing my homework, the pencil I had was rammed deep into my teethridge. I freaked, grabbed a book and threw it into her face, she fell to her knees, I grabbed a desk lamp lamp and was about to bash it arround her head, but I couldnt. I just could not hurt my mum. I threw it away and ran out of the house crying. I came back later and my parents didn`t say a word. In fact, not many words would be spoken between us for years until I was maybe 18 or 19. They wouldnt have a problem with me dying my hair, doing drugs, drinking or whatever, and I dont know if they did it out of ignorance or recognition of their mistakes.
The bullying though, continued until I was 15, it left the deepest scars I have. Things were done to me which go beyond the usual schoolyard bully and which I have never told anyone. In fact, despite my hands shaking, I had no problem writing down the story of me and my parents and my arms only started shaking when I got to mentioning the bullying. The treatment my parents gave me might be vicious and wrong, but it absolutly nothing compared to what my generation did to me.

I am in a way suprised that my parents didnt leave the psychological scares on me that some and I myself expected. My explaination is that other traumatic events in my life simply overshadowed those. But I have to addmit, that when recently telling this a good friend, there was a felling of relief. I have also confronted my parents, who appologised in an earnest way that fixed our releationship to great extent in the last year. So to some extent I dont know why I opened this thread, I have a big issue with writing about my bad expiriences, I am not the kind of person who justifies his actions with such expiriences, and I have absolutly no idea what I could personaly gain through this or what others could gain.
To some extent I honestly have to say that I wanted to show a disgusting person who reveiled that he beats his kids a frankensteins monster. But maybe if you want to share some of your expirences, this could hopefully be more than that.
Reply



Messages In This Thread
Were your parents violent? - by Something completely different - September 20, 2013 at 10:36 pm
RE: Were your parents violent? - by Rahul - September 20, 2013 at 11:05 pm
RE: Were your parents violent? - by Captain Colostomy - September 20, 2013 at 11:21 pm
RE: Were your parents violent? - by pineapplebunnybounce - September 21, 2013 at 1:58 am
RE: Were your parents violent? - by Kayenneh - September 21, 2013 at 2:14 am
RE: Were your parents violent? - by Walking Void - September 21, 2013 at 11:24 am
RE: Were your parents violent? - by Zazzy - September 21, 2013 at 11:50 am
RE: Were your parents violent? - by kılıç_mehmet - September 22, 2013 at 2:01 pm
RE: Were your parents violent? - by Zazzy - September 22, 2013 at 2:11 pm
RE: Were your parents violent? - by freedomfromforum - September 22, 2013 at 2:09 pm
RE: Were your parents violent? - by BrianSoddingBoru4 - September 22, 2013 at 2:36 pm
RE: Were your parents violent? - by Fruity - September 22, 2013 at 2:36 pm
RE: Were your parents violent? - by Creed of Heresy - September 22, 2013 at 2:41 pm
RE: Were your parents violent? - by Fruity - September 22, 2013 at 2:48 pm

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