My father was a very bad father in every sense of the term. He only cared about his addictions and his affairs. Imagine the most horrific abuse that a son can be subjected to, and you'll have a pretty good picture of what I personally went through. Not only I, but my siblings and my mother as well; we all endured several years of violent abuse at my father's hand. My mother left him when I was 7. I never spent much time with my father throughout my teens and growing up, and the only occasions we had to meet were on occasions when he would drink a lot of alcohol. He was a hopeless asshole for my entire life. Fast forward to two years ago. Two years ago (when I was still a christian) I initiated a meeting with my father. I was uncertain what to expect since it had been over fifteen years since I had seen him. I thought I may either kill him outright, or who knows what else. I certainly did not expect what I found upon seeing him after so many messed up years and so much pain, loss, and abuse. When I saw my father, I flashed back to an horrific memory of a specific abuse that my father had perpetrated against me (an incidence of cruelty and torture when I was 4), and all at once I would have sworn that Jesus™ had entered the vision of my flashback, and he was actually embracing my father as he tortured me. I was ruined. At the same instant I would have also sworn that I felt Jesus™ holding me in the same manner, and saying to me; "I love you both equally." I was crushed even lower. I had no feelings now for my father other than forgiveness and love. Fast forward again to the present. My father and I have a great relationship. I will say that the first several months were a lot of work, but here's the twist... It was difficult because of the level of prayer needed for me to "maintain" my forgiveness. That, and the constant nagging of "god" in my ears was driving me to have "sinful" thoughts about my father (which were in fact, healthy restorative indicators), and interior life became laborious concerning my new relationship with my father. NOW that I'm an atheist, my relationship with my father is excellent! I no longer have to deal with the schizophrenic voice of god inside my head telling me what to think, and even worse, when those thoughts were sinful. Now I simply get along great with my old man; I wish I'd done it sooner. Thanks to all for sharing, and thanks for reading.
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