Is it a constant struggle to keep believing?

[ronedee]

To me, the best image of god may be the deist version that creates the universe and then lets it develop however it will. He demands nothing of us and we expect nothing (more) from him. No limits, no rules, no one to blame but ourselves, and no one to stop us from being all we can be. There may be variants of god that are more involved and more "good" and more fun, but those all require some level of giving up who I am because he's always got a hand on my shoulder.

Why can't He be what you've described here? He is for me.