Is it a constant struggle to keep believing?

[Godlesspanther]

This is aimed at ex-Christians really. I've never been religious so have no idea what it is like.

I guess it is a constant struggle to belief in something for which there is no physical evidence. I guess this goes into the field of Cognitive Dissonance, something I know very little about. I imagine it to be a bit like "Doublethink" in 1984.

So what was it like? Were you constantly having doubts, or could you play mental gymnastics and ignore these for large periods of time? Or just assume it was true and not really think properly about it?

I'm a life-long atheist myself. It is difficult for me to understand how people can sincerely believe stuff that is obviously not true. I have noticed that some consider it to be a kind of accomplishment to come to a point at which -- through much effort -- they truly believe idiotic bullshit. This appears to be the case among converts. Born-ins have it easier -- they have been trained like bad dogs to believe stuff that is obviously false.

It is like Orwell's doublethink (cognitive dissonance) as well as compartmentalization (rational thought and logic apply to everything except their religion.)

As I understand from religious people, doubt is pretty much inevitable. They are trained to suppress doubts and when those doubts arise -- they are told to double down on everything religious. More church, more Bible study, more isolation, more repression -- avoid any outside influences.

I was raised Unitarian -- those who were raised in strict religious settings tell me that counts for nothing at all (intellectuals playing church.) I had made some honest attempts to believe in spiritual stuff, that led me to dabbling in a bunch of new-age codswallop. I was a miserable failure at religion -- and even "spiritual, not religious" mindset.

I suspect that there are some people who are naturally more susceptible to religious indoctrination than others. I have long suspected that a supernatural belief system is simply unavailable me because of my innate psychological make-up. I have tried -- really tried, and I can't believe in stuff that I know is not true. I just can't.