Children and punishments

[Ben Davis]

In the hot stove scenario, why not teach them by letting them burn their hand???

You can always make them reach slowly for the stove, trying to touch it with a finger tip, slowly inching closer... no need to actually touch the thing to learn that it's hot and is to be avoided.

Indeed. The 'hot stove' analogy of spanking is deliberately putting your kid's hand in a hot stove after it's burned itself on a hot stove to punish it for burning itself on a hot stove. I can't reconcile that with my desire for providing effective & nurturing growth.