Introducing The Universal Religion

[Alex K]

The long-awaited world religion is now here.

Contact one of our sales representatives via telephone, and order the new world religion now! Shipments outside US may be subject to surcharges.

The advent of The Universal Religion will definitely clear off all forms of idolatrous practices from our world,

Sounds like the religion of peace if there ever was one. Hmmm, clearing.

and prove to be an acceptable option for Atheists, Agnostics and all believers at large.

We praise thee, for thou artst the acceptable one! All hail the acceptable one!

It naturally follows therefore, that all existing scriptures stand to be displaced and replaced by the superior Universal Religion scriptures.

The new holy scriptures are very short:

10 This is the universal religion, acceptable to all.
20 Please behave acceptably
30 Goto 10

This inchoate Universal Religion will eventually be the only religion throughout the whole world and through all future civilizations.

We will not engage in idolatry, but only in inchoation. At least initially...

The religion will be a religion of no religion, in the sense that it will prove to be simply a natural way of life, i.e. all shades of primitive idolatrous worships of a personal humanlike deity will become a thing of the past.

But how will we identify the unbelievers???