The Bible is the claim, not the evidence

[Sword of Christ]

So he set up the dominoes to fall in place so that we would eventually come about as a species

That's quite a good analogy, something like this takes a lot off setting up and if anything is out of place the whole system would collapse or cease to function.

have to worry about a bunch of arbitrary laws and commandments that include not having dirty thoughts or not mixing different kinds of woven materials, and then being absolved of sins because we killed god's son 2000 years ago, who was actually god in disguise, in order to save us from a place called hell that he invented for those people with the dirtiest thoughts. Yeah...makes perfect sense.

The message of Bible/Torah was through a historical bronze age people with own culture and customs and whatever but it can still be the product of an interaction between God and his creatures therefore still a genuine revelation of God to man. Not that Gods message is necessarily restricted to the the Bible but I would say Christ is the best revelation we have.