Borowitz Explains It All

[Minimalist]

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/bo...20%2891%29

The E.U. spokesman, Alf-Jergen Holmboe, said the replacement of American football with soccer was the third in a three-step plan to transform the U.S. into a European country.

“The first two steps were electing a socialist President and instituting national health care,” he said. “Once soccer replaces football, our work will be done.”

“Once a country has socialism, national health care, and gay marriage, soccer is usually next.”